A wise woman...loves who she is, and loves who she is becoming.
Ah yes, February - the month of LOVE provides us with our annual opportunity to offer and express our love for each other. Why does it seem so much easier to express love for others than it does to express it for ourselves?
For starters, our culture has taught us to be humble, and to not think too much of ourselves. For many of us the notion of loving who we are reeks a bit like conceit. Are we confused about what that means? Does being humble and not thinking too much of ourselves translate into silently beating ourselves up for what we haven't done, or for what we're not? No way.
It's essential to think well of ourselves. Not in an "I am the greatest, Muhammad Ali" way, but rather in a "I value, trust and enjoy who I am" way. When we're strong on the inside we have what it takes to tackle the next challenge, find the solution, or take the step forward.
I hear from my women friends that the wisdom of finally feeling comfortable in our own skin gloriously arrives in our 50's and 60's. This is great news indeed - but I for one am not going to wait that long. I'm choosing to be at that place now and doing everything in my power to encourage my daughters - and any other female that crosses my path - to have a lifetime of feeling good about who and where they are.
A good first step is to "chuck out" the mask of perfection we've been pressured into wearing. It's imperative that we ignore these negative and impossible messages we're inundated with from the media and replace them with ones that allow us to authentically enjoy who and where we are in our lives, just as we are.
And while we're at it, let's release self-doubt and guilt too. Neither are helpful.
The best way I know how to love myself is to consciously choose the thoughts I allow into my head. You know, that dialogue you're constantly having with yourself that moves at lightening speed? The tricky part is that this internal chatter has been going on for so long it's become usual for us, we don't even notice or question it anymore. But it's there, and these thoughts don't just float out into the air. Everything you say to yourself gets imprinted on your subconscious and subsequently affects your self-concept. What you say to yourself matters.
We have the power and opportunity to stop the negative stuff and immediately replace it with thoughts that are good for us. But we've got to pause long enough to listen to what's going on in our heads before we can make the shift. And while the shift won't happen over night, with repetition, it will.
It's also important to surround ourselves with helpful messages in our environment. I've had this quote on my office wall for years and it has served me well as a helpful reminder when I've needed it -
"No quality is more attractive than having
a deep sense of being at ease with yourself and the world."
Happy Valentine's Day - here's to giving yourself the love you so richly deserve.
Lauri
Enjoy 4 links to short video clips that offer healthy messages.
