The Interconnectedness of All Things

A wise woman...intentionally strengthens herself and others.

I remember the exact moment I heard the word Ubuntu for the first time. I was having dinner with a client and we hit the ground running with our conversation. Within a nanosecond or two we were swapping our respective philosophies on life and finding common ground everywhere we looked.

About 20 minutes into our high-spirited dialogue my dinner partner offered the word Ubuntu to sum up his personal philosophical foundation. After noticing the quizzical look on my face he graciously offered a definition. 

He said, "Ubuntu means - I am because of how you are, you are because of how I am. It's a way of seeing the world, recognizing the interconnectedness of all things, and honouring those relationships."

He went on to explain that Ubuntu has many aspects to it. Intrigued and inspired I needed to know more about this new addition to my vocabulary, so I did what I always do when that happens, I consulted "The Google." Here's what I found.

"The word "Ubuntu" (pronounced uu-boon-too) is a traditional African philosophy that offers us an understanding of ourselves in relation to the world. According to Ubuntu, there exists a common bond between us all and it is through this bond, through our interaction with our fellow human beings, that we discover our own human qualities." Source - http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/7-22-2006-103206.asp 

It's amazing to me that one little word can represent something so big.

So, I let the word and its meaning roll around in my brain for awhile to determine  how Ubuntu was represented in my life. Turns out, of course, it exists in every nook and cranny of my world. Whether I consider family, work, community, nation or globe I can see how I am because of how others are, and how others are because of how I am. We are indeed connected, in observable as well as indescribable ways. The actions of one, affect the outcome of all.

So what does that mean for our lives? For me it means that I believe I have a personal accountability to take good care of myself in all ways that matter; mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, socially, 'schedule-ly', and educationally... because how I am, affects how you are.

If we support and value the essence of Ubuntu, do we also have a collective responsibility to care for each other? To support and encourage each other? To intentionally look for ways to strengthen and raise each other up?

After reflection I now know that as we approach our seventh year since our inaugural Wise Women's Weekend, it was Ubuntu that was at the very heart of my desire to gather women together for a weekend of learning, sharing and connection to help us understand ourselves better in relation to the world. Back in 2004 I remember thinking, "I already know what I know for now, I want to know what they know." I wanted their wisdom to leverage my journey, discover more about my human qualities as I become the best version of me, and vice versa. 

Ubuntu - I am because of how you are, you are because of how I am. 

Let's continue to gather often and celebrate the power of our connectedness.

Click here to watch a clip of Nelson Mandela explain Ubuntu. 

http://dotsub.com/view/2ff54345-ea2f-492e-b62a-46a04ff2221e

10 Ways to Redefine Pampering

A Wise Woman...finds creative ways to pamper herself.

When you hear the word pamper, what comes to mind?


If you're like many of us, you might get a mental flash of Zen music, a candle lit room, and a mani-pedi or massage. All are wonderful, and I look forward to my next opportunity to experience them, but are these "every once in awhile" experiences the only opportunities we have to pamper ourselves? 


Let's re-frame our definition of pampering to include more of our everyday lives.

1. Spend time with a friend that feeds your soul - someone who makes you feel good about who you are when you're with them.
2. Eat well. Avoid the foods that make you feel tired, bloated and sluggish. Feed your body the way you know works the best for you. Just choose.
3. Read something, watch something or listen to something that feeds your head with information that nourishes, or strengthens you. What you put into your head affects how your day goes.
4. Choose to get enough sleep. Your 'inbox' is always going to be full and your to-do list will always have things that need your attention. Overworking yourself doesn't make anything easier. When you're rested, you have more energy to get things done.
5. As you lay there with your eyes closed, ready to fall asleep, think about the things that went well today and about what you're looking forward to tomorrow. Forget the rest.
6. Play. Find a bucket of bubbles and bubble wand, pull out a deck of cards or anything else that will bring out your inner girl. She needs to come out and play more often.
7. Before your feet hit the floor in the morning, take some moments to vividly imagine how you really want your day to go today. You'll vastly increase your chances of making it happen if you've already imagined it in your head.
8. Plan your day so that you can calmly arrive on time. You'll give yourself the gift of being in a better head space.
9. Find an opportunity to perform a Random Act of Kindness. It's okay that you get as much, or sometimes more, out of it than the person you assisted. Really...it's okay.
10. Pull out the hobby that you've tucked away because you think you don't have time for it. No one needs to be that busy - it's not healthy. Choose to make the time, you deserve it.

Pampering...it's simply being good to yourself. 

I'd like to hear from you. What are some of the ways you redefine pampering?

Expanding Our Inner Circle

A wise woman...actively welcomes new friends into her life.

When was the last time you made a new friend?

Sometimes we run our lives at such an incredible pace that we find ourselves operating on auto pilot with respect to our friendships. All these years later, we're still spending our time with the same people we went to school with, raised our kids with or worked side by side with.

Having lifelong friendships, as long as they are healthy ones, is certainly something to celebrate. I feel it's a privilege to have people in my life who know the real me - the good, the bad, the strong, and the wobbly - and still love and support me unconditionally.

But what about expanding our inner circle? Is it important to purposefully seek out new friendships?

It's energizing to meet someone new that I "click" with.  I feel validated as we discover our similarities and feel inspired as we learn from each other. Forming new friendships is a great opportunity to tell 'our story' to a new set of ears, which assists us in becoming that much clearer about who we are inside.

Welcoming new friends into my life opens up my peripheral vision and allows me to see my world through a slightly different lens. I learn things about myself which adds to my growth and development as a friend, wife, mother and professional. In the process of getting to know this new someone, I get to know myself better.

Women are social by nature. We are the communicators, the connectors, and it's important for our health and well being to intentionally make time to be with friends, old and new. In generations gone by women would gather face to face to discuss, share, problem solve and brainstorm everything from relationships to social causes. Technology has given us a different kind of connection which certainly has it's value, but it contributes to us having a lot less "face time" with each other.

For women, friendship is about finding kindred spirits with passions and interests that mirror and contribute to our own. We thrive on connecting with others who understand exactly where we're coming from. I think adding to our inner circle starts with deciding that our friendship dance card is never full, and being open to putting ourselves into new situations that provide opportunities to meet new people. When we take the time to engage in conversation with a new face and express a genuine interest in finding out who they are, I think we'll all be surprised at how often we'll hear the "click".