A Wise Woman...doesn't need to justify the time she spends with her girlfriends.
Women are the Connectors, the Communicators; with some exceptions, the majority of us are hardwired to process our lives verbally in the presence of each other. In past generations women gathered together much more frequently than our current lifestyles allow.
Women today know that they can have/do/be 'it all', which is wonderful indeed. However for many of us, having 'it all' means we fill our schedules to the absolute brim, leaving little or no room for having the important 'face-time' we need with our favorite female friends.
I don't have enough fingers and toes to count the number of times I have heard women say, "So, I'm busy, every woman I know is. Is that really such a bad thing?"
- Valorie Burton, author of How Did I Get So Busy? reports that "76% of women feel they are busier now than they were five years ago."
- Burton also writes that, "80% of women say their schedules are somewhat or entirely over-committed.
- Busy-ness is now being called "The Modern Disease."
- Connie Merritt, author of Too Busy For Your Own Good reports that "90% of visits to our primary care physicians are due to stress related issues."
See the domino effect?
When our lives become too busy the first thing we tend to let go of is our female friendships, when ironically it's often our friendships that keep us feeling balanced and centered. I think many of us hold a subconscious truth that the time spent with our friends is a luxury, or a guilty pleasure.
The real truth is that women are stronger when they connect with each other. I know whenever I spend time with my girlfriends I come away feeling understood, connected, even validated. It's an affirming feeling to spend time with women who are also experiencing the same ups, downs, twists and turns in life that I am. From listening to each other and offering our own stories, we discover a powerful shared identification that strengthens each of us.
Technology and social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn are all wonderful tools that help us connect in ways that only ten years ago we couldn't have imagined. But this is a different kind of connection that's void of the value we gain from being present in the same room with each other.
Dr. Ruth Josselson, author of Best Friends writes, "...we need to have unpressured space in which we can do the special kind of talk that women do when they're with other women. It's a very healing experience."
Let's be deliberate and intentional about gathering our gals together on a regular basis. We don't need to justify the time we spend with them, because it's actually good for our health.
